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End of Life Considerations

Many questions can arise when an individual is nearing the end of life.  At times, some of these questions can be faced by that person and their loved ones together, but often, the person that has power of attorney for healthcare must face these questions alone, as the dying person is no longer able to express their desires. 

If you have been given power of attorney over a loved one’s healthcare, investing the time to discuss their philosophy toward end-of-life decisions, and the “what-ifs” of various scenarios well before that time comes can greatly simplify your life and reduce the stress of decision-making in the end.

If it is too late to have these conversations, due to your loved one’s inability to effectively communicate their desires, consider casual conversations from the past, when they may have made comments about what others were going through, such as, “I hope I never have to suffer like that person…” or “I wonder why they didn’t try ______...”

Regardless of how prepared you may be, end-of-life choices can still be hard.  Don’t be afraid to ask plenty of questions.  Remember that the decisions you are faced with and the questions you may ask the medical team can vary depending on if the person is at home or in a care facility or hospital. Questions you ask may include some of the following:

  • What might we expect to happen in the next few hours, days, or weeks if we continue our current course of treatment?

  • Will treatment provide more quality time with family and friends?

  • What if we don’t want the treatment offered? What happens then?

  • Should we consider palliative or hospice care? Where should they receive this care - at home, in the hospital, or at a nursing home?

  • If we begin hospice, will the person be denied certain treatments?

  • What medicines will be given to help manage pain and other symptoms? What are the possible side effects?

  • What will happen if our family member stops eating or drinking? Is this normal?  Should we consider a feeding tube? What are the benefits and risks?

  • How do we determine whether or not a ventilator is needed and how do we determine when to stop the use of a ventilator?

  • What questions should I be asking that I haven’t asked?

While you might not need to ask all of these questions, having the answers to some of them will aid you in making an informed decision.  Please understand, it is not uncommon to make an informed decision and still have things go differently than planned.  This does not mean that it was the wrong decision.

As someone’s health declines and the end seems to be drawing near, it can be hard to say good-bye, and this can influence decisions being made.  Being the person that must make decisions that will likely affect how long someone else lives can be very stressful.  Hopefully the tips above can alleviate some of that stress for you.

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